Eurovision: We’re Not In It But We Love It

So tonight is the Final of the Eurovision Song Contest held this year in Baku, Azerbaijan who won it last year with the song Running Scared.

This is the first time I have known it is on and am watching a effort to watch it. I have known it has been on but haven’t had free access to a TV (mainly because of bogans watching footy) and no one to watch it with. Well one thing hasn’t changed…. I still have no one to watch it with but Twitter and Facebook are my friends.

I found out last night that there is even a Eurovision Drinking Game… even though I will be drinking tea I will have a bottle of water and proceeded to play this with myself tonight for the final.

What amused me most last night is the half-time entertainment showed Australia a twin for Hannah Gadsby from Serbia… also the night before Australian comedian Charlie Pickering was trending because one of the hosts, the guy in the video above singing looks like Charlie, and due to his abscence on The Project on Friday night some people are saying he flew over.

What I love about Australia and our Eurovision-Mania?

Because Europe doesn’t get why a country on the other side of the world would be interested in a song contest that we are not a part of and have no chance EVER in entering. They forget; we aren’t Americans… so we are interested in stuff that we aren’t involved in.

For those of you who want to do the game here are the rules.

The Eurovision Drinking Game

You may also want to consider a perversion of the national drink of your favourite team. How you interpret “sip”, “gulp” and “skol” are, of course, up to you.

Sip for:

  • Any all-white ensemble (skol for a full white tuxedo)
  • Glitter or rhinestones
  • Hair or headgear bigger than the wearer’s face
  • Face paint
  • Any song actually sung in the native tongue of its country (France excepted)
  • Any song you believe to be sung in the native tongue of its country, but that then turns out to be in English
  • Shirtless beefcake dancers or bikini-clad tottie
  • Any points actually received by the United Kingdom
  • Tenuous ring-in competitors from other countries (see: Celine Dion)
  • Off-key singing
  • Stage junk: fake instruments, performers who aren’t singing, dancing or playing anything,
  • Any instrument onstage that nobody in the room can identify.
  • Any appearance by an accordion.
  • As a special tribute to 2009’s winner, any gratuitous string accompaniment (the saxophone solo of the new century)

Gulp for:

  • Costume perversion of national dress
  • Any performer who arrives on stage through a means other than their own feet (e.g. stilts, motorcycle, lowered from ceiling on glittering camel)
  • Any outfit so ridiculous that you feel the need to drink to make it go away
  • Pyrotechnics
  • Oversized novelty anything
  • Onstage disaster of any kind
  • Human pyramid
  • Any item of clothing ripped off during a performance, accidental or intentional

Skol for:

  • Gratuitous inclusion of a celebrity (See: Celine Dion)
  • Wardrobe malfunction
  • Made-up languages
  • Yodelling
  • Veiled references to fascism
  • France sings in English

If the United Kingdom still has nil points at the end of the show, finish your drink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Skip to content