Closure with The Doctor

Even as I start to write this I am shaking. I am shaking with happiness and for the last 2 days have not been able to wipe the smile off my face. On Sunday I filmed the fanile for my Comedy Festival show with Rob Lloyd.

He will be playing The Doctor. At the end of my show, after I have remembered my teasing and hard times, I feel like giving up. It is then when The Doctor shows up instructing me never to give up and that I am worth something, he then invites me to join him on the TARDIS and after first saying I have a prior engagement I sing a song and then go ‘fuck this’ and call the doctor back.

So – I arrived at Dandenong Station after a taxi ride because the trains where fucked! I heard a horn behind me and Rob pulled up and picked me up (dressed as The Doctor) and took me to where we would film it, at Dandenong High School in His Tardis (the drama room where he teaches).

After he introduced to me to the guys who would be filming it (Ryan Thomas) we took the script and went to the drama room, next to the theater and started the read through process.

This is when it became surreal to me.

We read it through the first time and I had to stop and hug him at the end and thank him; I was getting shakey and I could feel myself wanting to cry but I couldn’t and a lump in my throat that made me feel sick.

After two times I had to take a break and absorb it, he went to check on Ryan and get me another glass of water – as he was going we were talking about something and he said, “… I’m Brilliant that’s why.” I eyed Rob and shook my head as he gave me a smile as he left.

When Rob re-entered he sat back down beside me, started running through the script straight away. We were getting more speedy with each

The Doctor (Rob Lloyd) and I

run through. It wasn’t until we got to the bit where he says to me that I can’t give up that I noticed he had stopped reading off the page and was sating the words to me, and although I know that I wrote them… I could tell that it wasn’t just acting. He meant it. The tone in his voice and the look in his eyes made me realize that I had a friend that believes in me enough to be whiling to put his name at risk to help me and see that I am special. It is different to what I get from my family or my best friends; this is a guy who I have only known for two years and he BELIEVES I can do it.

So after we finished his wrap up for his TV show, we started filming. It was a case of Rob in front of camera, me beside camera, reading both lines so we get him on screen and reacting to what I am saying. There are some instances that I couldn’t look at Rob while reading my eyes because it was so emotional and if I did I would possibly break down.

We finished the on screen bit and then it was time for my cameo. I took off my excess clothing and got in front of the camera. We then did the first take and it worked, apart from I didn’t say the final line. A. Because I wanted to let him say his word on his own and B. I wanted to do it again. We did it a second time, and as I ran towards him I was so caught up in the moment I screwed up my lines a bit. The third time after I jumped from leg to leg and made sure that I wasn’t pushing Rob over I feel was the best. When I looked up at him as he said, “Ready Tansy.” I squeezed him harder and had the biggest grin on my face, smiled and looking at the camera said, “Born ready.” Before we both said “Allons-y.”

After we got that out of the way and wrapping up filming I got my picture with Rob as the Doctor and then we had finished for the day.

Getting back in his car I pulled out the book I had stole (borrowed with no intention to return) Jon Pertwee book that he had been searching for years and is out of print. He became a 21 year old fanboy and insisted I sign it for him. He loved the fact that because I am learning to be a librarian and yet have stolen a book.

He dropped me off at the station and we discussed the HooHaa (which I am going too) and then I thanked him again and told him that, “I think today… even though I have to preform it 5 times…. I have found closure to what the Christians did to me.” Which is true, I know I have to go through it 5 times, and I know I will get shit in the future but I know in my heart that I will always have The Doctor to keep me strong, brave and most of all brilliant.

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